Ashes: The Story of a Young Man

Our story begins in 2010, when a little boy saw his first loved one leave for her afterlife. He was sad and he realized his life had changed forever. 

In November of that year he started a blog and it's going good. People appreciate his writing, which his teachers had nurtured in him. Although primarily he composes poems, he does dabble in prose sometimes. This is a spiritual sequel to an article he wrote about his experience in 2010 and how 10 years later, some things have not changed. To fully appreciate this post, the boy who is now a man requests the reader to click here and read the first post.

The man in this post wants to be 18 till he dies. Unfortunately, as Rise Against said, life isn't like that. The boy is behind the man and the man's sisters have not been exactly free either. So the old days of sitting on his grandmother's lap, eating pancakes and doing mathematics from a red book are behind him. 

He is now an engineer, just as his father before him. He has made some friends, and probably will grow up alone. Adversity has shown its face a few times but he's still alive. In short, although this seems cynical, the boy is hopeful. 

Someday he's going to the great gig in the sky to sing along with John Lennon. The boy feels under the weather sometimes but his friends help him. He has found that some people trust him. He has also found an avenue through his blog to connect with like minded people. 

However at his core, the boy who is now a man, wishes he could be a boy again. He wishes he could talk to his grandmother just one more time. He would pay anything to roll the dice one more time. Sometimes he misses them so much, it leaves him hollow. 

But as long as the man lives, he won't forget them and they will watch over him. Estranged as he might be from some, others will walk this world with him. Alone as he feels sometimes, art speaks to him. 

This is the boy, who is a man, but who is also a boy saying that he won't forget the good days. Sometimes that's all that's needed to silence the other voices in his head- voices that tell him it's not worth it, cannot take away the feeling of joy that courses through him when he hears his favorite songs.

The boy who is a man but also a boy is on a journey to a place. He doesn't know where he's going, but he's on his way.

The Bilge Master

The Music Has Stopped

When I need a hug

Or comfort in other ways 

I play a song 

Over the course of time 

I've heard many 

Then I heard the music 

In your laugh

And the orchestra in your eyes 

I knew I would love to dance with you

As the world around us burned 

For a while it seemed 

I could come out of my shell

That the bridge over troubled water 

Had arrived 

But we never got that far

Because one day you were there

And the next day you weren't 

I see the ghosts of what could have been

Your face hidden behind a mask

Our friends talk of Michelangelo

While we discuss Van Gogh

I thought I'd finally be able 

To leave the darkness behind 

But of late 

The darkness has come 

The drugs don't work

The self harm is just scars 

And the music has stopped 

The Bilge Master