Drops of Jupiter

 "Now that she's back in the atmosphere 

With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey hey hey hey"

Train, Drops of Jupiter

You know you’ve grown up when one day you realize someone you loved won’t be around anymore and the things about them that made them them, slowly start fading; little by little, until their memory starts getting filled with gaps. You then turn to photos to try and remember a time when they smiled, and how much they smiled and giggled when reading PG Wodehouse. You want to go to the bookshelf and pull out the Wodehouses and smell them, for their smell resides in the book, and the smell is not just a smell, it is a redolence that triggers something in you, bringing them back, however fleetingly.

What you wouldn’t give for one more hello.

You know you’ve grown old when you realize that sometimes other people are not on the same energy signature as you are and therefore, no matter how painful it may seem you walk away. Love songs that seemed to be about a certain person now seem to be about a totally different person whom you met while surfing in a spider’s web. You don’t need much, just someone to talk to, but not just anyone and not just about anything.

You know you’ve grown up when you realize accountability. Some things are your fault. Some things you do need to work on and improve. If you’re lucky, the friends you make and the other people in your life will help with this, but even so some roads are meant to be walked alone.

You know you’ve grown up when you’re a year older, somewhat wiser, but somehow the opening sequence of Batman: The Animated Series is still a source of comfort. Sometimes that is all it takes really. A good book, a rooftop, a cooling cup of coffee and all the stars above you looking down at you, brightest among them the North star, guiding you.

And in those stars, if you look close enough and the light pollution is low, maybe just maybe, you’ll see them too. Maybe, just maybe, they’re the reason the North star exists, so that those memories with gaps in them become whole again.

Funny thing death.

The Bilge Master