I Will Not Go Gentle

 I was recently reading this article where Neil Gaiman talks about how Terry Pratchett is not jolly, he is angry. I have hyperlinked the article here. It isn't a secret to anyone who has visited my blog that I am a bibliophile and like books more than people. But of late , I've been struggling and reading this article put a lot of things into perspective for me. 

Gaiman writes,

"I rage at the imminent loss of my friend. And I think, “What would Terry do with this anger?” Then I pick up my pen, and I start to write."

I felt every word of that sentence. For me writing has been an escape, be it jotting down quotes from books or peopling my walls with quotes and posters  the written word has always been my friend. I know few other ways of expression than writing, for even the photos I take have either lyrics as captions or writing that is purely original.

I also agree with Gaiman when he says that anger is an engine. But like all engines, anger can cause failures and hurt the people who care for you. I know there are things I do in anger which I regret later, but when doing them I feel a sense of pride and justice is being served, that i have been wronged and now the world owes me blood. It is this thought that scares me the most. At the moment, there are two wars raging in the world, both due to anger, people are dying and an entire generation has been wiped out. Anger isn't doing anyone good here.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that in time, and I hope that time comes sooner rather than later, I will adapt into the process and accept my anger, not as a tool for revenge but as a motivator to get things I need to get done, done. 

As for those of you who have felt hurt or have been hurt by my anger, know that I'm trying..I really am.

I do not want to be an angry person, I was made into one. But that anger has made me kind, it has gifted me with a stubborn nature and since I know what I do not want, I know that I shall get what I do want.

Thank you for reading this, if you stuck around this far.

The Bilge Master