Gone Till November

First things first. I owe all of you an apology for not updating recently. The thing is that times were a bit rough. We had to shift house recently and I wasn’t so well. But, better late than never eh?

I also have a confession to make. The first few posts in the blog are all random and they don’t have any chronology as such. However, thanks to some blogs I came across, I’ve decided to take things to another level. From now on, I will be updating posts on a monthly basis and I’ll tell you all what I’ve been up to. That to me seems like a good plan. I will also attach a picture with the post, since as we all know “A picture speaks a thousand words”.  I’ll try to keep to the style but and will still refer to the posts as bilge. It’s good to change but some stuff should be constant!! I would welcome your criticism and your comments people. So, let’s begin the bilge!

The title is one of my fave Wylcef Jean songs. It played frequently on vh1 and I used to hum it a lot. Nowadays, TV’s not really my thing so vh1’s taken a backseat. As for my escapades, read on oh fearless one!

Right, so like I said, we recently shifted residence coz our landlord had some issues with the water consumption of the family. The fact that he attended the same school as Shylock and used to pump water up for like 6 and a half minutes per day was of course overlooked. So one fine day he just popped over and cooler than a few cucumbers wearing sunglasses and Gucci suits handed us our exit note. We were only too glad to comply coz let’s face it, water is water!

Within the next few days, the following happened. One, I fell into the septic tank out back and almost broke my leg. The agony was quite divine I assure you. It made the Cruciatus curse seem like an effing feeding bottle. (Effing stands for the “F” word……what? You think I WANT the Censor board on my blog???? No thanks!)

Two, I got ‘Salem’s Lot by Stephen King for a b’day present and it was spectacular. Sorry Twihards but Edward doesn’t hold a candle to Kurt Barlow. I loved the part where the priest and Barlow have a confrontation. “It’s so sad to see a man’s faith fail him” to quote from the text. Please read it people it’s worth it!

Three, we shifted. I am not going to give details. Suffice to say it was exhausting and really irritating.

So, here I am in the middle of December writing this from the Housing Complex we shifted to. It’s a cool place and I’m making some friends. It’s also a really good place coz a lot of buses are around that can ferry me to almost anywhere. So, whenever I get time, I bus it around!

Also, I met my aunt. My dad’s childhood friend who’s thick as thieves with my mum! (As if I didn’t have enough guardians!!! But that’s a different tale). Her son, Abhishek and I are as thick as thieves so there! Plus he’s got a DSLR camera which is like Uber Cool! You should see the quality and in fact, to hell with Alienware, I’m getting one of those ASAP! But I feel that you should be told a little more. We hit City Center mall with ‘em after picking them up from the hotel. My aunt wasted no time in first drooling over some pastries in Kookie Jar (egged on by me….) and then tried to buy an ochre colored sari made of what I thought was “opium silk” (It was actually dupium silk….please don’t ask what that means and I’m not sure the spelling’s right). We then had lunch with ‘em. Really delectable Bengali cuisine topped off with the evergreen ice cream. The twist of course is that we had treacle flavor (you read that right…don’t bother changing your glasses).For more details, head to 6 Ballygunge Place. It’s worth the slow service…the food’s awesome!

Speaking of cameras, I also started editing with Adobe Photoshop. It’s really easy! Having fun doing it. I’ve posted one edited picture here.

(The Logo of Bullet for My Valentine…)

As for music, I picked up Bullet for My Valentine recently. They are mind blowing. Some songs are really good and the guitar work is spot on. Be warned though, there’s a lot of screaming involved so please don’t try this with a sore throat. But hey, if it’s too loud, you’re too old babe! Iil ;)

To wrap up, let me wish all teens a best of luck for the upcoming boards. To the people who don’t have em, let me remind you that you guys are real lucky devils!

And before signing off and hitting the shower, please turn your attention to a little extract from “Gone Till November” by Wylcef Jean

“January, February, March, April May

I hear you crying but girl I can’t stay

I’ll be gone till November…gone till November”

Ciao guys and do please comment! See you next time! Iil ;)

Coming Back to Life

OK, who HASN’T heard this one by Pink Floyd? It’s an often repeated track on my mp3 player. Put that down to addiction!

This month is a biggie for so many reasons. For one (the Painfully Obvious) it’s the holidays for the Pujas. For another, its my Birth Month. Yes, on the sixteenth day of this month about a decade or so before, I was born. It is also the month that my dad was born; (though he has been here since the mid fifties) and the month on whose 9^th day Mr John Lennon was born. So yeah it’s a HUGE month, a significant month. Fitting that I churn out a little bilge this month.

So first the new stuff. I got back the “funk” to quote Marshall from “How I Met Your Mother”. Video games and FaceBook are becoming less appealing. I attribute that to my sisters for giving me some VEERRRYYY interesting reading material. (A girl with pyrokinesis and a Skeleton Detective who packs a six gun…need I say more?). Happy that the reading bug has bitten me again as this means I can ditch the PC for awhile. Not that Assassin’s Creed isn’t appealing!

I’ve also tried my hand at diary writing. But it holds not much appeal. Dunno why…guess it isn’t my thing. I sort of prefer the occasional write-ups that I’m posting in the blog. Recent downloads include Switchfoot and Paramore which are both good bands and Dream Theater’s new album which is a HUGE disappointment. Expected a lot better though John Petrucci is spot on with his guitar solos and raffs.

I cant help but be excited coz this is the year that I turn 17. One more year and I’ll be an adult. But there are a few things I will NEVER beable to outgrow. Call it immaturity, or plain old obstinacy I couldn’t care less.

These include Tinkle Digest, which has been a part of my life for as long as I care to recall. Uncle Pai, (I should say Anant Pai) who passed away recently, taught me a lot bout this here world of ours and I miss him a lot. His magic will remain even tough he is no more.

Another must have on this list is Music. I still remember the days when I didn’t have the PC and the old record player was functional. I used to spend a lot of time just listening to songs, not caring about understanding them. One of my evergreen faves is “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel. Guess that one will also be on my mp3 list for a long time. Of late, I have gotten a soft spot for hard rock music and stuff like Pink Floyd, Dire Straits also have a hold on me.

Reading also belongs on this list and HOW! I love reading although as mentioned before, I took to video games a little more than I should have! Forgive me for that people. I know they aren’t all that good and nowadays they don’t hold that much of appeal.

I also wanna go on with this blog of mine, even tough there aren’t many people following it. Those who are, a little request…please tell me how to make it better, what you like what you don’t and why.

Joking, now that’s another one. Ask anyone, I’m always joking and its become ingrained in me now. Cant stop it and don’t want to!

Crappy stuff on TV. Stuff like a guy in a pair of tight jeans leaping from one end of a skyscraper to another and then taking on 35 people at once….y’know what I mean!

Now, it’s time to wrap up. One can only write so much.

I have to mention how grateful I am to my nearest and dearest and by that I don’t just mean my family but my friends too…I shudder to think what would have happened to me if I hadn’t had people like you to (literally) kick my ass from time to time…you guys mean a lot to me, although I don’t show it.

Especially my classmates….the “CHEER-FOOLS” as we call ourselves. I joined the herd as a new boy; a green leaf and now I’m turning into a brown one…..growing up with you guys has been awesome and I’m not gonna forget the moments we had…..

OK I mean it this time I’m gonna wrap up! Just a few lyrics by Rod Stewart…they say best what I wanna say….

“Ever since I was a kid in school

I messed around with all the rules

Apologized then realized

I’m not different after all”

Wraith Child

I’m the son of strife and desolation

Plague is my satiation

I am an embodiment of Evil

I wallow in Filth, thriving on Despair

As I Seep among your thoughts

Unhinging your mind

I’m crafted from Sin

And Breed all that’s Unholy

I’m a Wraith Child

Bow before me or be left Undead

Your mind will be my Work Shop tonight…..

Inspired by Cradle of Filth and Iron Maiden, not to mention the Dementors of Azkaban and the Nazgul…and HOW can I forget master of the macabre Stephen King!!!

GIVE IN TO THE NIGHT

I’ve been staying up late for sometime now and funnily enough I kinda like it. Not that my bedtime was ever adhered to before. It’s just that it’s really cool at night and it’s dark. I like the dark. The darkness. The silence. And I hear better. Mom snoring, the dog scratching itself and the omnipresent nocturnal marauders which no Pest Exterminator really manages to exterminate. I feel strangely relaxed when it’s dark. The serenity strikes a chord. I mean look at it this way: there’s no one around, and it’s just me awake with a tube light on and an open book on my desk, ballpoint in hand. No interruptions or unwanted noise. Things sort of sync together seamlessly and I really have fun. Yesterday, I was doing a chapter dealing with Phenols and Ethers. Organic Chem and me DO NOT see eye to eye. Yet somehow, I think something got into my head yesterday coz this morning I was able to answer to some degree the questions at the back of the chapter.

Yet there is a flipside, which is showcased brilliantly in horror movies. Come on already you know what I mean. Fear of the dark!! It is scary at night, I cant deny it! I speak from experience. I had taken my dog out during a blackout and there was this sand heap with some leaves on it, lying on the road and call me melodramatic but I thought it was a disembodied hand sticking out instead of a leaf. I laughed loudest at myself but there it is. Things look different without the sun. Everyday objects like trees and lamp posts take on a fearsome aspect like things have gone all topsy turvy. Even the wind seems to have a voice of it’s own and maybe it’s fulfilling the request that Shelley made to it in his poem “Ode to The West Wind” I think the lines are

Make me thy lyre, even as the forest is:

What if my leaves are falling like its own!

The tumult of thy mighty harmonies

Will take from both a deep, autumnal tone,

Sweet though in sadness. Be thou, Spirit fierce,

My spirit! Be thou me, impetuous one!

Drive my dead thoughts over the universe

Like withered leaves to quicken a new birth!

And, by the incantation of this verse,

Scatter, as from an unextinguished hearth

Ashes and sparks, my words among mankind!

Be through my lips to unawakened Earth

(quoted from “Ode to the West Wind” by P.B. Shelley)

So, it’s got a mesmerising charm to it and it is a time when things sort of settle down. Night seduces you, soothes you and yet on the other hands it’s time for the shadows to come out and play. It‘s this duality that makes me wait each day for the onset of dusk. Speaking of dusk, have you read that story by Hector Hugh Munroe called “Dusk”? It sort of reflects what I want to say. Things are a little different when seen in obscurity or if you prefer it almost total absence of light.

A SMILE FROM A VEIL

I was reading this story the other day by Isaac Asimov. Don’t recall the title of it but it was about Multivac and a scientist feeding some jokes into Multivac in order to find out the importance of humour. It got me thinking. Why DO we smile anyways? I can see no reason other than to feel happy or cheer up. I mean take me for example. You won’t ever see me without a smile on my face.  In fact, I’ve written this far and that’s the 9^th grin no tenth grin that’s crossed my face. Weird! SO, why exactly do we smile? More importantly what makes us want to cheer someone up to bring a smile to their face? I guess it’s because we feel good. I mean aside from the scientific benefits of it viz. the exercise of about 40 odd muscles in and around your mouth….

Think of the different places we choose to smile. When we hear a joke be it a PJ or a whopping great joke we tend to smile and in some cases if the joke is really good, we burst out laughing. In fact there are many people who are addicted to jokes, such as myself. I’m a grade A jokester and cant resist a rib tickler! Ample reason to join a group on Facebook that deals exclusively with jokes! But what’s the purpose of a joke? Just to make humans smile! So, smiling is pretty damn important if people go to such lengths for it. (By the way grin count is up to 13 now!). Then again, jokes aren’t the only things that make us smile. When we pass an exam or beat the living daylights out of a really hard bit on a computer game or just listen to our favourite tracks we smile. We smile when we see something beautiful, when we see something that we wanted to happen happen. We smile at almost every inconsequential thing in our lives & at almost every moment of our lives. We smile in company of our friends, we smile when we are at peace and can’t help thinking that that old chap Browning was right when he said that “God’s in his Heaven and All’s right in the world”.  When we recall a memory from our past like a tiffin fight in the 3^rd grade we smile. So, I think I’m justified in saying that smiling is more than just a little twitching of the jaw; it’s a BIG way of expressing your innermost feelings. It’s the best way to say you’re happy.

So, back to that story by Asimov. As I was saying, this scientist feeds 4 jokes into Multivac and asks it to analyse them thoroughly. His aim is to find the origin of jokes. When other people learn of this they all think this scientist has flipped. But then Multivac gives them his conclusion. Jokes are from outer space. To quote “of extra-terrestrial origins”. Then, Multivac drops the bombshell. It appears that these aliens have decided that the people know too much for their own good and have obliterated humour and the capacity to understand it from the minds of humans. The last line of the story is

“I know that if I ever hear a joke again, I won’t laugh”.

And I’m not laughing either. Just think for a moment about this scenario. What would happen if we woke up and found that all the humour in the world was gone? Would we shrug it off and continue as before? Could we continue as before? No more smiles all just zombies with the same expression on their faces? Tell me, what would you do if you could never smile again? Would you be able to think clearly?

I know what I would do, I would walk to the middle of a highway during rush hour traffic and just wait there for someone to put me out of my pain….because that’s the reason we smile isn’t it? To forget our pain?

gashsaksksajskjswuiwiwwi

The Black Cupboard

My dad’s got this Sonodyne Music system. It has a tape player, an amplifier, two BIG speakers and wait for it..a Record player. Yes I mean the old LP’s (Ps that’s not LP as in Linkin Park but LP as in vinyl Records).

When I was a kid, I used to be fascinated by “the black cupboard” as I called it. I was frightened of it at first and only when there were people in the room did I enter it! Then, one day one of my dad’s old friends came and I got to see what was inside that “black cupboard”. I was still scared but curiosity got the better of me and I decided that whatever lurked in that was too scared of Dad to y’know try to do anything. Plus, I had been reading Tom Sawyer lately and I thought of myself as Tom, alone in the cemetery with Huck Finn (when they unintentionally eavesdrop on Injun Joe). Funnily enough, I found that the cupboard was empty! Then, Bhaduri Uncle (Dad’s friend) took out the apparatus form a big shopper and set it up.  Then, he asked for a tape and inserted it into the player. Very soon, a song was playing away (I think it was Englebert) and I was mesmerised. I loved it!

Since then, whenever I could I used to open the cupboard and insert a tape and let the music play. I had heard a LOT by the time I was 7. Stuff like Pink Floyd (that made no sense to me at the time), Boney M, classical instrumentals like Beethoven, Mozart and of course The Beatles.  My dad used to play it like every weekend and I always used to show up. Pretty soon, I could operate it just fine, and was listening away to glory. Whenever I had to kill time, I went to “the black cupboard”.

One song I was addicted to at that time was “Sound of Silence” by Simon and Garfunkel. I just loved it. I don’t know why, it struck a chord.

Down restless streets I walked alone,

Narrow streets of cobblestone

Beneath the halo of a streetlamp

I turn’d my collar to the cold and damp

I used to think the guy was like a saviour or something, here to shed some light into the gloom he described.  If you look up the lyrics on Google, you’ll find the song’s pretty sad. It’s a description of loneliness, of how empty the guy’s life is. But, I cheered up whenever the song played, whenever I sang it. And boy did I sing it…I sang it like a ritual, it buzzed in my head…car rides, bathroom, wherever…I was always singing it.

Then, the system stopped working and I was crestfallen. I felt like I had lost a very dear friend. Dad did get it repaired once or twice but the problems persisted. But, the music returned to me with a bang.

Dad got this car second hand from his colleague. A white Maruti 1000. I had a lot of stuff that the old car didn’t like an AC, bigger boot space. But MOST of all it had a tape player! I was ecstatic and begun to record my favourite tracks onto tapes. Whenever we went out in the car I would play some thing. Dad even got some tapes of Kishore Kumar and I listened to them as well. But my old friends, The Beatles, Englebert and most of all Simon and Garfunkel returned.

Mom used to give tuitions at her place sometimes. She taught English and Social Studies. There was this guy who used to come to learn English. He was the son of my Dad’s friend. Soumya. One day, we went over to Dad’s friend’s place and Soumya da (term of respect people!) took care of me while the oldies chatted. I found him like SO cool. He had a computer for one. And his wallpaper was a pic of the Beatles. He told me he had a big collection of songs. Queen, Deep Purple, Nirvana, Gun and Roses, Metallica, The Doors and lots more.

Then when I got my own PC in class 6, I used to go over to his place whenever Dad was free and slowly borrowed it all from him. I got addicted to music thanks to him.

Now, I have a fair enough collection of my own. Stuff like Eric Clapton, Dream Theater, The Who, The Script, Bryan Adams that my mom and dad can’t stand.

But whenever I am weary or feeling small and if tears are in my eyes, I still switch off the light in my room and switch on “The Sound of Silence” and it NEVER fails to cheer me up.

“Let’s hope you never leave old friend,

Like all good things, on you we depend,

So stick around coz we might miss you,

When we grow tired of all this ‘vision”

Radio Ga Ga by Queen

Shifting Cultivation

Shifting is a tiny word with a lot of meanings. It can mean changing gears in a car or changing your position to accommodate a bench mate or even changing the location of something. Shifting does not only apply to small things but also to houses. And that is what we have been doing for a long time. If I glance at the statistics, it’s 6 times in ten years…..out of which I was able to participate in only two. However, I found that the process is just the same, and the only variables are the amount of goods and their locations, and the number of people involved. This is shifting as I see it….decoded….

OK, what is needed to shift house successfully is cartons or if you prefer it crates, something that you can get from any local shopkeeper, provided you can bargain. If packers are being used, this hazard is removed as they charge you for the crates (and deliver them late). Another alternative is good old BBS (Beg, Borrow, Steal), a process that is slow but produces results. But, it is VITAL that a lot of crates be available.

The next most important thing is sellotape and a sharp cutting tool (scissors don’t work normally as the sellotape is thick…suggested device penknife). Sellotape is necessary for sealing the cartons and a cutter for both Sellotape management and unsealing. Words of caution….scratches are to be expected when attempting to cut the tape or unseal a crate...it is inevitable, so I won’t say be careful. Newspaper is a Godsend here due to its versatility. You can use newspaper to pack a lot of things such as glassware, earthenware ad other such fragile things or paintings, tubelights, aftershaves, shoes. If all else fails, a good wad of newspaper can keep a loose cupboard door in place or help to move the same. If that gets boring, there’s always the odd mosquito or cockroach to slay.

The third most important thing is raiment. Jeans and a T-shirt are best because of the large amount of mobility such a getup offers. Just think of the amount of stair climbing, crouching, lifting, crawling, bending and of course the omnipresent dust that you are going to deal with. By the way, jeans were made initially for miners so that they didn’t have to worry much about the trousers tearing or hindering mobility. So a little thing like this is right up denim’s street! Trust me….jeans are THE thing. Still didn’t convince you? (Boy you are tough to please!). How many pockets does a jeans have? 5. Just think of the stuff you could carry in them. Your own body becomes a crate. You can shift who knows how many small objects in your jeans. Phones, CD’s, small idols, knives, forks & spoons, staplers blah blah… A lot of this stuff gets overlooked.

Next, you need hands.  I mean more than the pair you have got. If 3 people tackle one room, everything in it gets cleared in half an hour tops. An important thing to remember is that too many cooks spoil the broth. Get too many guys on one thing and it takes longer to pack and longer to shift. On the other hand, shifting is strictly a team effort. Even a small house can’t be shifted alone. But, there is that old cliché that too many cooks spoil the broth. Imagine ten people trying to pack one cupboard which anyway is seldom used…..trust me, it’s a nightmare!

OK now that labor pains are over with lets move on to transport. Naturally, unless you are a guard at Sherwood Estate, you will not assume to transport furniture in your sedan. (I am not joking, that is what happened when I went to get our dining table from Sherwood). A minidor is good…preferably with a wide bed so more goods can be stashed. Your own private car is not entirely a hindrance as small things or crates can be transported in it. Say for example a few crates of books, or a trunk or your PC for that matter…

Time is of the essence. The human body can work for only so long on adrenalin after all. The longer it takes the more tired you become and you seriously don’t wanna do Swedish exercises when you are pooped. A good tactic to use is to bifurcate the packing and shifting and to not do it in one day. Split it up! Take two days to move things. Like take out the contents of the cupboards and raid out your kitchen on one day. Pack em into crates and the next day send the crates you have packed to the new location on the first trip. Trust me it works! It is important that you have energy coz the work involved is seriously backbreaking.

However, all clouds have a silver lining! It is a lotta fun pitching in and packing and a great way to burn some calories! It’s not everyday that you wanna change your residence after all! Although it is hard work, it is enjoyable. A pair of earphones tucked in your ears, Bon Jovi or AC/DC singing and your arms and legs grooving to the beats! (Do I detect a gleam in your eyes?)

Once every crate, newspaper wrapped bundle, homosapien and speck of dust has been relocated, go to the neighborhood store, get a Kitkat and take a break. The worst part is ahead of you. It’s called Unpacking. This is a time consuming process, but if done methodically, it doesn’t take that long. But, before going in for the last leg, pick up the phone and order a REAL heavy meal form a local deli. After going for days on adrenalin alone, you will need some proper energy to function. Take a long rest. It’s best if you start unpacking one day after the moving. You are fresh and some of your muscles are willing to cooperate.

Unpack the kitchen first. The stove, the larder and the utensils. Hell, a guy’s gotta eat right? Next focus on the clothes and the toiletries. If you have a lot of labor, these things can be unpacked simultaneously. Next comes the PC and the in house library.

In general, things have been dumped here and there, so a bit of muscle power is needed to move the furniture around. Once you have the skeleton of a room settled, start the fleshing up and then the final layer of skin can be applied. Don’t bother cleaning before unpacking coz a lot of dust and insects have got a score to settle.

Once the crates have been disposed of, the neighbors have been met, and the house is looking as bad as it was before, you need to sit down and survey your handiwork. Then get yourself a cool drink, raise your glass and say “Here’s to peace!”

CONGRATS!! You have successfully shifted house!

PS. You BETTER call me for the house warming!