Friday, March 3, 2023

A Collection of Poems

 Hey guys! For a long time, I've been writing poems and keeping them on my phone. I thought of sharing a few today. They're a mixed bag- horror, love, unrequited love...it's all there. Here are five poems! 


The Bilge Master

The Things I Have Forgotten

When did I write this?

I see scratches on my arms 

And a sentence in my journal about bloody arms 

There are 27 new scars on my wrists 

How did they get there? 

Where is my mind? 

The last thing I remember is the smell of my morning cup of coffee

Which morning? Why? 

Isn't it Friday today? 

Which Friday? Friday the 13th of course!

No. It's Tuesday today

Oh God. It's Tuesday and I'm late for work

But why am I in scrubs? 

Who are you?

There's a glass in front of me 

I don't know who this man is 

Is that me?

And this liquid on my hands? It's too thick to be water

B...Blood?

Oh God, what have I done?

Where is my mind?


Heartbreaks Are Good

The thing you don't get about hearts is 
They're your body's music system
Literally turning your body into a boombox
So when they break, sometimes singing to them 
Is what makes them heal
Think about a line like the one 
Where someone asks for your heart
And tells you it's the most real thing about you
It hurts when that trust breaks 
When you can't hear the song for a while 
But, (and I speak from experience)
Your heart changed the day it broke 
The streets you called home changed 
Your world turned topsy turvy
And then the music came back
The heart wants what it wants 
Love 
From you
So listen to the beat of your heart
Listen to the music in your body
And dance to your own tune 
For there is nobody
Who cares for you like your heart does

Organisms

It's funny how before you
I was an organism 
You came crashing in 
On a sunny afternoon in June 
Walking like a one man army 
And showed me that
I could be more than an organism 
I could be me

Do I Want to Meet You Again?

It's been forever since we parted ways 
Mere children, sitting on a school bench 
While the maths teacher droned on 
We drew tattoo designs on the grid marked notebooks 
You wanted to be an artist 
I wanted to be a singer 
Entertaining the world with your art
Scribbled on the first page of a hymn book
We were just kids in love 
We never learnt from mistakes 
Just kept making them again and again
We didn't even know it was love 
To us it was just being there 
Then you went to a faraway city 
Which boasted a Sultanate 
And I stayed back in a city that had
Among other things 
A ruler called Siraj ud Daulah
Do I want to meet the adult you are now?
Do you want to meet the adult I've become?
With my potbelly, my crooked smile and awkward jokes?
Would you be willing to keep up with my fast paced Star Wars references
Even though you've not seen a single film yet?
Do I want to meet the adult you've become?
With your lipgloss smile
And your family's cheekbones? 
I wonder what we would talk about as we sip coffee?
Ex lovers? Present flames? 
Then, after the meeting
When my flight will be calling to board 
And you'll embrace me in the baggage claim
Will we remember the two kids 
Kids no more 
And smile
Because despite our fear of change 
Nothing between us feels different
We're still just two lost souls 
About whom Julia dreams each night

The Room Isn't Mine

Last night
I slept in my old room again
The curtains were closed 
The ghost in the tree outside
Was gone 
My room was hotter than I remembered it 
And the bookshelf at the foot of the bed had new and unfamiliar content 
And yet it was still my room
Does that make sense?
Is it me who changed 
The day I moved out of the room?
And although I came back and come back 
Every now and then
Has way led onto way?
I do not know 
The bed is still comfortable
The books are still there
But the room isn't mine anymore
I have trust issues 
The bedsheets don't smell like they used to
The pillow seems hard 
There's dust on the bookshelf
There lies here a broken heart 
I guess childhood's end has finally come 
And I don't need this room anymore 
Or is it that the room has grown up
And doesn't need me anymore?

Sunday, February 19, 2023

My Family and Food

It has been a long time that I’ve felt in a space to write about my family with the kind of clarity that I used to have. It was a practice of mine to write about the idiosyncrasies of my family at least on the occasion of my parents’ anniversary. Unfortunately, owing to the passage of time, anniversaries have moved on to the next generation and the core group of children (my first cousins and I) are still single, and while I cannot speak for my sisters, I don’t really feel too much like mingling unless it is mixing a very old monk with a very young batch of coke.

 But today, it’s a morning too good to pass up the chance to speak a little bit about the family I have, and so while Gandalf reprimands Bilbo for being cheeky, I am putting my tongue in cheek and I will speak of cooking and my family’s approach to food.

 My grandmother was never satisfied with following the recipe. She felt cooking was an art form and certainly created many works of art in the ranna ghor such as incorporating soyabean into mutton chops and getting away with it. While Gordon Ramsay goes into cardiac arrest, I shall also call your attention to the fact that my grandfather’s recipe for chilli pork is one that was the stuff of legend at the table when we sat down to eat.

 And then of course that one occasion when my father went into “I must make fish without any ginger” mode and came up with an onion less and garlic/ginger less fish, and he succeeded in making it tasty as well and thus was born the bastard child of the kalia and the standard curry, which we call kharia. The recipe for this is a family secret meaning that my father has shamelessly and unapologetically forgotten how he made it.

 I spoke of the next generation did I not? Meet me. I’m the person who will infuse mutton with marmalade and decide it is too sweet and therefore assign it to the category of do not repeat, unless you want to psychologically torture your sworn enemies or wonder why Long Island Ice Tea has the words “ice tea” in it and then decide to pour white rum into a tumbler of black tea (also works with dark rum and coffee…add cream and whiskey instead and you shall have Irish coffee). I have also made chicken curry in which I have put whiskey while marinading and it has become my signature dish.

 And on this noble afternoon, I picked up a recipe book from Kashmir and decided to infuse the cooking method of one recipe with the ingredients of another just to see what happens. You may either think this is a bad idea, or you might just be surprised and ask for a second helping.

 Such is my relationship with my family and my food. The urge to experiment and to see what lies beyond the stress levels of the human stomach is something that is fascinating. I have no idea what I’m doing in the kitchen half the time, but I follow my instincts and my nose and very rarely has someone told me the food I fed them is bad. Obviously to bend the rules, you need to know them backwards and in this regard I’ve been fortunate to have the entire internet and the mothers (or fathers) or even the friends whose houses I go to, to swap recipes with.

 I do understand my grandmother’s sentiments when she said cooking is an art form. I merely try to emulate some of those principles today.

 Eliot asked in Prufrock if he should dare disturb the universe. I ask your stomachs the same question.


The Bilge Master

Monday, December 26, 2022

My Visit to the 28th Kolkata International Film Festival and The Films I Saw (Part 1/2)

 Jean-Luc Godard is a man the world lost in September this year. I am positive someone like me is less than dust beneath his chariot wheels but before I even knew of French New Wave, I came across a quote which I later learnt were his words:

 Photography is truth and cinema is truth 24 times a second.”

 These words left a mark on me and I saw them again in a dark theatre at my first visit to Kolkata International Film Festival in 2021. I was there for hardly a day and I went with some of my friends. I saw four movies and liked all of them. While my memory doesn’t allow me to recall the names of the movies and while I was yet to sit with a Godard movie, I had already begun my journey into the world of international cinema in 2020, when the world was in lockdown. I had started with Akira Kurosawa and then moved on in utter chaos, shape without form as Eliot says and ravenously devoured as many international movies as I could.

 I wanted to come back to KIFF again (and again, and again) and jumped at the chance to attend it this year, the 28th iteration of the festival which wrapped up on 22nd December, 2022. I am writing this post in the wee hours of 23rd December, 2022 because sleep eludes me, for I am still wandering around the world in the darkened theatre of Nandan- I. Come walk with me through the fifteen or sixteen films I managed to watch over the course of December 19th to December 22nd 2022. I have my journal open alongside me, where I have noted down the names of all the films I saw.


 KIFF DAY 1 (19th December, 2022)


Hot on the heels of the FIFA World Cup final, the day began with me waking up at cock’s crow and heading into the kitchen to make tea and some food to carry with me to the venue. After whipping up a lunchbox and feeling totally like a schoolboy off to enjoy his day, I arrived at the venue and walked into The Gospel According to St. Matthew, a Biblical drama directed by Pasolini (of Salo fame, the one film of his I had seen before and been traumatized by). The film was an intense experience with good pacing and showed a side of Jesus Christ that I had never read about or seen before. I refer to my friend Jeffrey Jacob’s Telegram message, where he told me that Pasolini’s take on Jesus is important to note because it was one of those representations that depicts hope and empathy over salvation. Pasolini was Marxist, gay and an atheist in 1950’s Italy and thus his take of the Gospel according to Matthew fits the archetype of a revolutionary leader. I got this message post the film’s ending and having read it understood the film a little better.

 The second film was Russian and called Pervii Sneg (First Snow), directed by Nathalia Konchalovsky. It was a beautifully shot film with great use of colours and angles. I was most impressed with the cinematography. It follows the tale of Kristina whose life is spent in daylight as a paralegal and in moonlight with her mother watching a TV series. Kristina is being nagged at by her mother to get a guy and at this juncture she meets Pavel, her upstairs neighbour who is a terrible “musician” and claims to be researching glaciers for his doctoral thesis. Kristina is also training in Aikido and as we are told later in the film, her Aikido coach is the husband of her boss at the law firm.

 The film progresses to show rebellion in Kristina, after she lies to her mother about having a date and going clubbing and how she feels suffocated at the firm she interns at. She chooses to coach Aikido to children at the dojo and sleeps with Pavel as well. Later she learns Pavel lied about his job to her and is underage. She confronts him and calls off their relationship.

 However, the film takes another interesting turn. Kristina’s mother tries to woo one of her clients and goes on a date with him as well, but it doesn’t work out. Pavel is underage. And the cherry on the cake is, Kristina’s boss is unable to spend time with her daughter due to the pressure of her work at the firm and is ashamed and angry about this, which is brought out very well in the form of two scenes where there are arguments between her husband and herself. Their daughter makes videos on YouTube and organises a fan meeting for her followers at which her mother comes. I found this to be a very poignant way to depict the relationship between the working mother and the young child.

 The film ends with Kristina leaving her apprenticeship, becoming a full time Aikido coach and the little girl joining the group of students she teaches.

 

The third film I saw was Mireasa Mortului (The Deadman’s Bride), which was a collaborative effort between Romania and France, directed by Cornel Gheoghita. I would not hesitate to rank this as the worst film I saw at this festival.

 A crew of French film makers wants to make a film about Romanian traditions. They decide to film a baptism, a wedding and a funeral, but are unable to film the funeral. Unfazed by this, they decide to fake a funeral by burying a living man (or rather lower a coffin into an open grave) according to Romanian customs. I found this to be highly odd and it made me uncomfortable to tell you the truth.

 There is however a love story being shown in this as well, where one of the French film makers falls in love with a deaf and mute girl and swears that he’ll come back for her post the shooting of the burial scene. Unfortunately, they are involved in a car accident and their decision to bury a living man is met with horror by the village priest who states that he must purge the village of this sin by prayer. The film maker injured in the car accident drives back to the village despite being told not to by his friends and is there chased by a mob because ominous things have happened in the village. Ultimately, both he and the girl he’s in love with die in a fire.

 This plot summary is deliberately shoddy because it left no impact on me whatsoever in the wake of the other films I saw. I went into it excited because I thought it was a horror movie and was bitterly disappointed.

 The next film to be screened was Beurokeo (Broker) directed by Hirokazu Koreeda from South Korea. I had heard great things about this film and was definitely not disappointed. In brief, Dong-soo and Sang-hyeon are child traffickers, choosing to pick up babies from a church’s baby box and then sell them under cover of Sang-hyeon’s laundry. However, when they intercept the baby Woo-sung, they find a note that says the mother will be back for the baby. Now apparently this is a regular affair and the mother’s don’t ever return for the abandoned babies. This one, does. Enter Moon So-young, whose basic statement is that “I did say I’d return for my child. Where is he?”

 What follows is the trio and the baby travelling to many places and trying to find a good home for Woo-sung. Spicing the pot even more is the police in form of two detectives, Soo-jin and Lee (both women) who are hot on the trial of the baby in order to shut down the trafficking ring run by Dong-soo and Sang-hyeon.

 Instead of delving deeper into the plot, and instead urging you to watch this movie pronto, I will say that the chemistry between Dong-soo and So-young is brilliantly brought out. This character development with Dong-soo initially looking down on So-young for wanting to abandon the baby, but ultimately acknowledging that she’s trying to do the right thing Is what for me was the best part of the movie. A solid performance by the child actor Im Seung-soo as Hae-jin, who brings a lot of comic relief and wisdom into the film make this a movie that’s not only watchable, but one that will leave you thinking for a long time.

 A delight!

 The final film on day one of Kolkata International Film Festival was A24 Studios’ offering The Whale, directed by Darren Aronofsky from the United States of America. It stars Brendan Fraser as I’ve never seen him before. Morbidly obese, rocking a blood pressure of 200/138 or so, gorging himself on pizza, soda and confectionary, this man is a teacher of literature. And how. However, he does not turn on the camera in the meetings he takes where he teaches and he urges his students to think out of the box. You will find yourself instantly connecting with Fraser’s portrayal of Charlie. Add to that his nurse Liz, played by Hong Chau who is more a friend and less a nurse and even says so in the film many times and you’re almost set for a treat. I say almost because there’s two more characters- the missionary Thomas (Ty Simpkins) and Charlie’s daughter, Ellie (a staggering portrayal by Sadie Sink).

 The long and the short of it is that Charlie was married to his wife Mary (Samantha Morton) and Ellie was their child, but then Charlie developed feelings for his student Alan and left his family when Ellie was eight years old. He’s separated from Mary and lives by himself and teaches said online class, until one day Ellie storms back in, now seventeen and then the fun begins. Ellie’s not been doing well at school and needs him to look at one of her essays. Charlie offers to pay her to come visit him and she agrees. The angle of the missionary Thomas is that he feels Charlie needs saving and that God has brought him to Charlie to help.

 The twist is, Alan is Liz’s brother and the church that Thomas says he’s from is not very popular with Liz or Charlie, seeing as Alan died. That’s why Charlie has spiralled down to this state in the first place.

 Ellie also meets Thomas and proceeds to rag him left, right and center. It is revealed that Thomas is no longer in the employ of the church, that Thomas has stolen from the church and is ashamed. It is Ellie who finds all this out through sleuthing and confronts Thomas about this, recording a confession on her phone.

 On the other burner, Charlie urges Ellie to write what she really feels about her schoolwork. She mouths off Walt Whitman with panache. We also learn that Charlie has kept aside a very large sum of money for Ellie and in his own words, that money was always meant to be for Ellie.

 The core theme of the film is honesty. Honesty about what you feel about a piece of literature, honesty to yourself and it’s an amazing and heart-warming tale. You will need tissues; tears of joy will flow at the ending of this movie. Do not miss it!

 

 KIFF DAY 2 (20th December, 2022)


Since I was not very impressed with the Pasolini movie the day before, I skipped the screening at 9AM and arrived to watch the 11:30AM show. The movie being screened was Mezhsezone (In Limbo), from Russia, directed by Alexander Hant. This was about teenagers and their angst with their parents and followed two teenagers, a girl and a boy who ran away from home and started to vandalise public property and even stole a police car containing guns and counterfeit cash and took off for a joyride.

 Eventually, they holed up in a cabin and refused to surrender, resulting in  the S.W.A.T team attacking the building and both of them dying in the encounter.

 Plot wise this film did not do too much for me, however the cinematography of the film made it stand out clearly. The night shots were especially great. The theme of teenage angst is explored fair enough here, but it is not a very thought-provoking film. I just got the impression that the two teenagers Sasha and Danny could have just gone to therapy for their problems, not stolen a police vehicle and guns.

 The 2PM offering was Travels Inside Foreign Heads from France, directed by Antonio Amaral. This was again a strange film about three aliens who had come to the Earth for a certain purpose and were using human bodies as vessels. When the body was dying, it would turn to soil and the extra-terrestrial would find a new host.

 Things turn sour when the Rare Visitor commands them to return home and one of the aliens doesn’t want to do that. Since it was science fiction, I tried my best to like it, but once it ended its second act, my interest perished and seeing as the next film was Saim Sadiq’s Joyland which I absolutely wanted to catch, I left early.

 

I don’t think I have it in me to speak too much about Joyland. It is a good film, with solid acting and given that it is from Pakistan and given that the theme is about a transgender woman finding love of sorts with a man, I’d say it is bold and what keeps it afloat is the brilliant acting done by the entire cast. I really would also like to say that the hype for the film led to nearly 200 people not getting entry into the auditorium and that there were a lot of people sitting on the steps to watch the movie or lying on the floor because of lack of seats. I also vividly remember that I watched it right from the front seat with my head at a 60-degree angle. Thus, more than the film, the experience of watching it stood out more for me.

 The 7PM screening was Neighbours directed by Mano Khalil and for me this was the film of the festival, although that honour was shared between two films, neither of which was this film.

 We follow the journey of a boy called Sero. He is six years old and his village is on a checkpoint. The two sides of the checkpoint are occupied by those who will not let you speak in any language but Turkish and those that won’t let you speak in any language but Arabic. Add to this a new teacher who won’t let you call him “teacher”, but insists on being called “Comrade” and you have a recipe for another nuclear bomb waiting to go off.

 Sero cannot understand Arabic and so does not understand why “Comrade” hits him with a stick. He goes home and cries to his mother and asks her why his father and mother created him. She tells him he is the brightest star in their lives and the kindest boy in the world. This is a brilliant way of contrasting the culture shock that is Sero’s school life.

 Sero’s neighbours are Jewish and their daughter Hannah is in love with Sero’s uncle Aram. This brings a breath of fresh air to the film and the courtship is shown beautifully. However, when Sero’s mother is accidentally killed by the soldiers, his world turns upside down. Uncle Aram goes ballistic and is taken away by the secret police and whipped and tortured. He is then given 48 hours to enlist in the military and he chooses instead to join the resistance.

 In school, Sero keeps getting in trouble and “Comrade”, not “Teacher” is planning a play where the so called “Jewish menace that stole Palestine” must be vanquished.

 I remember the director speaking to us before the film started and saying that he wanted to show how easy it is to hate and to sow hate in young minds. That is what this film portrays and portrays magnificently.

 I will wrap up this review with a quote from the movie: “Mr. Teacher, what would your life be like without Israel as an enemy?

 Look out for part 2, coming soon! 






The Bilge Master

 

 

 

 

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Failing Van Gogh: An Article About AI Art

 

I think the greatest injustice in this world is that Vincent Van Gogh was not able to sell any paintings when he was alive and somehow posthumously his work is regarded as the work of a genius and he is hailed as the greatest painter to have ever lived. If such was indeed the case, why would you be so cruel to the man and allow him to die penniless and depressed?

 It is not just Van Gogh. Look at the story of Galileo. Sentenced to death by the church because he stated that the Earth revolves around the Sun. I wonder then, do humans fear original ideas so much?

 This brings me to the recent and disturbing trend of using apps which make what is being called AI art. But before I proceed further down this rabbit hole, let us digress again and talk a little bit about the words “talent” and “practice”.

 We often hear the words “You’re so talented!” or “He’s an amazing writer!” don’t we? I was having a chat with an artist friend of mine who told me categorically that more than talent it is hard work, practice, blood, sweat and tears that is what is used to get someone to the point of being amazing. I am not saying being talented is a bad thing, I am pointing out the immense dedication and sincerity it takes (not to mention patience and a certain amount of bravery) to make something of those talents. When I started FLTM 12 years ago, I had no idea what to do. But I stuck to it. I read books, I read other writers. I practiced. I tore my hair out in frustration and I wept. But suddenly, 100 people read the stuff I wrote. Suddenly I had been writing for a year. Suddenly, writing became my way of dealing with my issues. Today I have a portal where I have spent 12 years of my life’s time.

 And what the advent of AI art is going to do is, it is going to replace this time and blood and sweat and tears with an algorithm and a microchip.

 Do you now understand the anger of so many artists and creators out there? What AI art means is that a person’s entire livelihood is at stake. Michelangelo started out with grinding colours together at an art school and he spent years there honing his craft before becoming one of the most renowned sculptors in the world. Leonardo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa still mystifies art critics and connoisseurs even today. Their work is studied by artists past and present so that they can themselves create. Imagine if this was just tossed into a bonfire and that bonfire was lit.

 What is next? Robots in the Olympic Games? Andy Murray vs The Terminator?

 In an age where everything we want is available at the push of a button thanks to the Internet, it is a very essential tool for learning and honing one’s craft. I know I use the Internet a lot. But the flip side is that if everything is indeed available at the push of a button, what happens to human curiosity? If fifty years in the future, a bot is going to serve you breakfast in bed, will you be curious to know where that breakfast came from? Children these days cannot imagine a world of telegrams and letters. Talk to them about telegrams and they will point at their phones and talk about the app’s latest update. While I do understand that technology is always adapting and changing and growing, it is doing so because humans are curious, because humans want to challenge themselves, because they want to do better.

 It would be terrible if this curiosity was no longer there and if indeed the world as we know it would be run by algorithms and AI as opposed to creators and innovators. I can only hope that what today is AI art does not become tomorrow what is governing the planet.

 If it does, we have failed Van Gogh again.


The Bilge Master

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Musings On What COULD Have Been...and What Has NOT Been

 I was reading Daytripper by Fabio Moon and Gabriel Ba just now and remembered how special it was to me and how I read it in less than an hour and a half with my good friend Gayathri (admin and Sorceress Supreme of the Paperbacks and Backpacks book club) and suddenly my very organically random mind wanted to write so here I am at the keys again.



What teenager has not wanted to be a guitarist? I'm sure everyone has a story about how they got introduced to the sound of a six stringed instrument as was I. My story involves my friend Soumya Basu aka Choru Da who made me listen to Slash and Knopfler when I was in sixth grade and set me on a path that nearly made me a sound engineer, nearly made me a guitar player and gave me a place to hide when I was low. Choru Da, you will read this, I know and you will smile and text me from Down Under and say it means a lot to you. I think what you should know is that you mean a lot to me. Thank you for showing me the beauty of a part of the world that makes me want to seek beauty even in the darkest of times. 

But then again, my random mind, forever a slave to Brownian Motion now wants to talk about Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken, specifically the lines 

"Oh, I kept the first for another day

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back"

What has this got to do with me not becoming a guitarist? Well, after pestering my parents for ages and ages, I did not get a guitar. Come on, this is me! If the story were to write itself the way all stories have so far then it would not be my blog would it? So yes there is a twist in this tale. I scored highly on the analysis question set for the poem The Road Not Taken and I've written about the significance of the poem when I wrote a farewell post for my seniors in college when I was in 3rd year. I felt the poem's message was most appropriate and I think I will have to link that post at the end  of this one so that you can revisit it!

Anyway, I did not become a guitarist. But I did become something else. I picked up a camera that my father got from his maiden trip to the USA back when Obama was the POTUS and I decided to go Dexter's Laboratory on it. What were the functions on the camera? What did the wheel do? Why these logos? I took that camera with me on walks and I clicked so many photos. I was enthralled. And then, I got a phone (a Sony Xperia E3, my second Android device) and that camera was stellar. I clicked away to glory. In between, I'd used a CyberShot DSCHX100V and the kind of creative and expressive power that camera gave me was out of this world. And so, a romance began. I became The Guy Who Has a Camera and my college batchmates used to ask me to photograph them and I learnt and learnt and learnt and expressed and expressed and expressed. 

I am still enthralled by the sound a guitar can make, I am still in awe of music and still use audio to unwind. But the road to being a guitarist is the road I did not take. I became a camera user. I will not say I am a photographer. That is a road I have not walked down yet. 

Ah, the point of this post? Nothing. Follow me on Instagram! (@shoshamitra)


The Bilge Master

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Why I Read...

  “It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. . . . Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why."

~Samwise Gamgee in The Lord of the Rings 

Those of you who know me even slightly will know that I adore stories. I spend fifteen minutes or more on Instagram checking the stories and comics that the creators I follow have concocted up and most of my feed is filled with their talent. 

But the title of this is "Why I Read..." and to be honest I do not know the answer. I just know that if stories were to be taken away from me I would be devastated. Stories have gotten me through so much. I was five years old when my mother gave me a book to read and in the womb when my mother told me of the things we would do together. She taught me that the world is both beautiful and dark, and also that life is not about the Lamborghini in the drive way but the child begging for alms at a street corner, who hasn't eaten for a while and maybe a small packet of biscuits means more to him than any money his family will steal from him and use up in drinking themselves silly.

Stories are all around us. That's why I've been keeping a diary for a while now. From the moment you open your eyes, a story starts. How you spent your day is a story, the security guard in your complex whose WhatsApp you configured is a story. 

Grandparents told the best stories if you ask me. Their world was so different from ours. They didn't have access to books as freely as we did. They were a living, breathing treasure trove of experiences from the past; our first history teachers in a sense. I wonder why we are taught so sparingly about history. In reading William Dalrymple's City of Djinns I fell in love with Delhi all over again. My endeavour to learn Bengali is to read stories in my mother tongue, a practice I feel I should have started a long time ago.

Storytellers such as Neil Gaiman wax eloquent on the importance of libraries and the experience gathered from children's literature while storytellers like Charles Dickens (although in my opinion his characters are unrelatable) tell us long stories about good vs evil and how good prevails. John LeCarre will take us into the world of espionage. Alistair MacLean will enthrall us with thrillers. 

Edmond Dantes and his quest for revenge, Dustfinger and his desire to return home, Markus Zusak showing us a war torn landscape and Exupery telling us how important our child self is. All stories, all about the world we live in and all capable of teaching and giving us armor to use.

A story teaches you how to be good and also how to be evil. It gets under your skin (if you let it) and it shows you the world of words and their power from the perspective of someone else, someone who like me was perhaps born in the arms of imaginary friends.

I still cannot resist walking up to a person reading a book and asking, "Hey, what are you reading?"

Stories have been there for me longer than people have. My teachers told me I read to survive and my parents gave me the responsibility of taking care of our library. My friends say it is a bibliophile's paradise. I just think of it as a house full of stories.

And yet, some stories haunt me. Some stories break me and leave me a bleeding mess on the floor. Some stories give me the power to get out of a sticky situation.

I read because I do not know what or who I'd be if I did not.


The Bilge Master

Saturday, November 5, 2022

So Long, Easy Rider

 He liked long drives a lot. Out on the road, with the top rolled back and cruise control keeping the car smooth. He was what Baez called Dylan in Diamonds and Rust- the original vagabond. Most at ease on highways- places he called home.

 But a few months back he had called a different place home. His home had a body, it had a voice He had wanted that home. Maybe it was the loneliness that made him seek out that home again and again. He felt like the un named boxer in Simon and Garfunkel’s song when he was at that home, lonesome and the New York city winters cutting into him, wishing he could go to the home of his youth. He had tried to find that home wherever he went and sometimes he succeeded. But it was always temporary and before long he was travelling on. I do not mean to imply that he did not have friends. He did and they cared for him. He felt at home with most of them, but the home he sought eluded him, always on his cusp and never his.

 He took to many hobbies- writing, reading like a man possessed, ordering and buying books like anything. His family thought he had a bad attitude so he kept away from them. However, his other family, the people he had met on his travels, they told him it was a pleasure being in his company and they introduced him to other people like himself.

 But still, home eluded him. Until he made his peace and realised that he liked being on his own. He liked the freedom of choosing his company, of having nobody tell him what to wear, what to eat and how to work out. And this was one freedom he hesitated to give up. Such freedom was magical and allowed him to sate his wanderlust. He started to look for photos and updated his camera with two new photos each day. He found a coven of readers and he chatted with them. He made friends who fuelled his creative side and gave him the courage to experiment and to express himself.

 And tonight, is like the other nights. He is on the highway, his favourite Uriah Heep song is playing and he’s on his way. He does not know where, but he’s on his way. I do not know if he will find home, but I do know he will not stop looking.

 So long easy rider

I know I’ll miss you for a while

But sooner or later

I know that I’ll forget you


The Bilge Master