Living the Life of a Drifter: An Ode to Turning 30 Soon

We have always heard tales about happy places and we have heard of the places where it does indeed cost something to be happy. I think it was on Facebook that I came across an interesting argument about why money buys happiness and if I recall correctly, it had something to do with the security of knowing that you had something to fall back on at the far end of a lousy day, instead of the usual coming home to a bottle of spirits to deal with the spirits dwelling in the corners of a tired mind.

 Do not miss the loneliness in these lines. Wasn’t it in the 70’s when a band sang out that people spend time making money- and money making time?

 This makes me remember the quote about how we must do what we can in the time given to us and that other quote about how we all just get one lifetime.

 This long-winded start brings me to a song by Deep Purple called Soldier of Fortune. I first heard it as a teen and didn’t understand how deep the cuts it made ran. I was too hung up on Highway Star. But things change when you approach thirty and you see certain lines in books differently and certain song lyrics seem to be talking about your journey or the journey of someone similar to you. While Soldier of Fortune is an excellent love song which tries a little bit to romanticize loneliness it also speaks of the importance of finding a happy place, a place where you are at ease and the best friend you need to be for yourself. Sometimes nobody comes to save us.

 As I have grown older and if I were to use a mathematical concept here, since a limit can be put on my age and it can be made to tend to thirty (lt Aà30 being the mathematical representation of this sentence), I have found that I have changed in a lot of ways.

 I am no longer invested in violent video games. I no longer have a dog or a mother. I have locked horns with demons which I now consider middle-class and lame but while they were a significant factor in my life, they had me running for my life. When you reach the point where you can plod down an equation that states that lt Aà30, you have to embrace these changes.

 Another important change that has happened is that I have changed my friend circles to a large extent and met a ton of people over the course of this pandemic and renewed and rejuvenated old friendships.

 Therefore, while the equation lt Aà30 is now increasingly there in my life, I think I have lost my fear of it. Let lt Aà30, this misfit wants to live to see it.

 I am still (as Soldier of Fortune is quick to remind me), living the life of a drifter, but an intelligent drifter, whose happy place for the moment resides in the company of individuals spanning the globe and certain fictional ones in varied media.

 However, this happy place came at a cost. It was a price I paid and now destiny is calling me.

 So, I’ve no choice. I am opening up eager eyes, pursuing a road that leads into unknown mores with eager feet and believing strongly that under the rising sun a new day will dawn and under orange street lights, the night will change and there isn’t anything to be afraid of.

 And is there a Juliet? I thought you’d one day ask me this. My answer is, what if it is a Romeo eh?

The Bilge Master