Riding with Vampires in Volvos

When I walked into school on the first day of the session way back in July 2010, the first thing I heard was the word “Twilight”. Homing in on the source of this word, I stumbled across a group of four, who were praising it. Later that week, I found “Twilight” in our library, amidst many other dust covered tomes. (Paradise for a bookworm like me). This is my honest opinion of Stephanie Meyer’s first book in the saga.
A little footnote. I did not like the book all that much, so I did not finish the saga. I don’t know if I have missed something by doing that, but “Twilight” was an unusual read.
The story opens well enough with the protagonist Bella (short for Isabella) arriving in Forks to live with her father. She joins school, but all about there is a sense that all isn't well. I liked the way Meyer described the town of Forks. I could almost see it in my mind’s eye, as if I were walking in Bella’s shoes.
In school Bella meets Edward who at first seems friendly, but has unusual eyes. Gold I think they were. Pardon the lack of memory, but I read said novel a long time back. Edward, at first is quite likeable. He behaves like a regular teen and has this air of overdone self confidence about him. But the one subject that sort of sends him into a trance is his family. He doesn't talk much about them. In fact he doesn't talk about them AT ALL, though they are studying in the same school! (Cliché number one).
Then somehow, Bella finds out that Edward isn't human. He is a vampire. A killing machine who pretty much has humans with cups of Earl Grey tea in the morning and fine vintage port near a warm fire at night. Is she scared? Does she try to defend herself against this? Maybe make a run for it? No. She tells herself that she’s in love with a vampire and goes peacefully off to Dreamland. (Cliché number two).
As the story progresses, we get to meet the Cullen family and my favourite character in the book, Carlisle Cullen. I liked the back story that Meyer gave on him, and in my opinion he is the most deeply researched character in the book. We also have Alice, Eddie’s sister who can tell the future, Jasper, who can control feelings and Emmet who is a giant, with a very soft core. (Kind of loveable really). Another thing is Edward’s music collection which I found odd for a guy who is rumoured to be at least two centuries old.
Edward and Bella get closer, despite Carlisle warning them that their liaison is not one without it’s perils. (Yeah I mean, your boyfriend likes to eat your species!). Thankfully (or not), nothing like that happens and they are by far the perfect couple. We then discover that instead of burning up in the Sun, Edward is immune to it and sparkles. (At this point in the tale, I had to fight the urge to throw some thing at the wall).

Then, though the exact reason for it is unclear, the reader is told that a vampire pack is in town, cutting through the Cullen family’s backyard. And the punch line is that the Cullens and Bella just stand there while these guys march in cool as a few cucumbers and threaten to kill Bella. (Edward of course does nothing. None of them do anything. Why? We will never know. Cliché number three!).
Oh and in between this vampire human love story, there’s the werewolf pack who live on the outskirts of Forks. Jacob Black and his family loathe the Cullens, but they have some sort of treaty worked out. Hence there is peace. Jacob takes this as a license to check out Bella whenever he can, and ask her out too. Bella is cool with this. (Edward once again has no comment on the matter. DUDE. Your girlfriend is getting hit on by another guy. DO something!!!!! Cliché number four.)
I could go on like this forever, but it would not really be fair on my readers, or to fans of the saga if I kept badmouthing the books.
Suffice to say, that as a supernatural love story, “Twilight” is an epic disaster of mammoth proportions. As a love story, it hits most of the right notes. A little passion, a little pain and a lot of problems. It is written well, though the execution of the core idea is very bad. The characters could have done with a little research. In the end it leaves you a little wanting. “Could be loads better” a friend said to me. I agree.
To wrap up, in all honesty, I am not impressed with the book. It strikes me as one of those ancient B’wood rom-coms. You know the ones I mean. The old Anil Kapoor, or Salman Khan starrers. You like to watch them, but you don’t really wanna keep them……
Well, that’s it then. Until next time people.

The Bilge Master

A Century Behind My Time
I remember two stories I read in English class. One was called “The Letter” by Dhumaketu. The other was “Lost Spring” by Anees Jung. I am studying the latter now in the twelfth standard. The former story had a line which went somewhat like “the frail old man walking by, a century behind his time.” The title is a misquote of the line. Let me tell you of a little trip I took today and of what I saw…which makes me say that I too am a century behind my time.
I had to pick up a demand draft for my school fees from Dad’s office today. After that I needed to travel down to AJC Bose Road to give the car for some much needed repairs. I think it was something to do with the brake disks. So, accompanied by the driver I set off on this quest. Dad’s office welcomed me as usual. They had seen me grow up after all! The same for when I dropped the car off at the garage. Naturally, we had to depend on the public transport to return home to Salt Lake. Here’s where it gets interesting…..
Getting hold of a bus involved crossing the roads and making our way to the appropriate bus stop. A footnote worth adding here is that it was around one in the afternoon and as usual the streets were packed with pedestrians. That was why we cut through a local market just off the main footpaths. Let me describe it. There were these small stalls with black tarpaulin stretched over them. Some were selling cheap plastic toys, others cheaper food. Street food, cooked out in the open. I noticed some vegetable curry at one shop. Just a stone’s throw away a man was waiting at a table. Table? It was just a set of planks, nailed to the wall with some dirty stools. On these stools, people sat with platters of food, eating. I thought of the hot lunch awaiting me back home. The new episode of Supernatural I would watch while I ate. The 13800 rupees cheque for my school fees in my back pocket. And I looked at the man who had a small sheaf of notes in his hands. He wore a deep blue shirt. Was it blue? Or had it been made so due to the carbon fumes there? I looked at the little kids, tending to the stoves while their mothers fanned themselves and chopped vegetables. I wondered where their fathers were. Could this man be one of them?
I wanted to stay there. I wanted to help them. I wanted to….I dont know! What? I’ll tell you what I did though. I looked for my driver amidst the crowd and hurried to him. We boarded a bus and we left. And here I am blogging away. And there the man is. Waiting three tables.
Wasting away.

The Bilge Master

Wherever I may Roam

 

I make sure my sneakers are laced up and hitch my slacks up slightly. And then I slip out the gate when everyone is fast asleep and am off!

Pardon me, you must have thought I am running away or something! The above is an apt description of what happens in the wee seconds before I head out for a walk. Walking happens to be the only outdoor activity I indulge in. I used to play in the parks nearby but that got tiring after awhile, plus I had a reputation of biting off more than I could chew. (Read breaking all world records for misplacing bats and balls and what not).

I simply adore walking. The wind in my hair and all the noise of the city seeping in. The wacko drivers who I need to look out for, the weird looking cop who throws me a dirty look because I happen to be jaywalking. But most of all it’s the slow and steady rush of sweat down one side of the body and the steady buildup of adrenaline on the other end. Y’know the feeling.

 

There’s the unpredictability as well! You don’t really know what to expect when you get going for your walk now do you? You might walk in broad daylight with the sun shining down on you. Then again the sun might suddenly get encased in  a penumbra of gray clouds and a steady torrent of rain might fall, drenching you. You might meet a nice old man out for a stroll, or randomly stumble across an old friend by the next traffic signal.

I like to walk till my legs feel they’re gonna collapse. Then when my heart is hammering in my chest and I’m all out of breath, I turn around and find a new path…one that leads me back home. That’s how I always end my walks. Irrespective of the route I took to get from point A to B, the route back to A will be brand new. A new way to get back to square one, so I can start all over again the next day! Call it a small idiosyncrasy people.

 

The Bilge Master