Writing About Writing

 "When the lights go out, will you take me with you

And carry all this broken bone

Through six years down in crowded rooms

And highways I call home?

It's something I can't know 'til now
'Til you pick me off the ground
With a brick in hand, your lip-gloss smile
Your scraped-up knees, and

If you stay, I would even wait all night
Or until my heart explodes
How long until we find our way
In the dark and out of harm?
You can run away with me
Anytime you want"

~Summertime by My Chemical Romance

This post is an amalgamation of stuff I've been feeling about the way I've changed as a writer of small nothings over the years that I've been writing my blog. Before I go any further, I would like to add that a copy of this article will be put up on my Scrollstack so you can check me out on that platform as well.

I was a teenager who was dealing with raging hormones when I started this blog and I found a safe space in it and whatever came to mind got dropped here. I've spoken a lot about the hills and plateaus of my life through this medium and I've gotten a lot of support, not just from family, friends and acquaintances but also from people who are total strangers. Some posts worked and some did not and as I continue on this journey a lot of stuff will change. The brain of a 16 year old has now become the brain of a 26 year old after all.

I think the biggest challenge for me was swallowing my ego when people said something I wrote was good and telling them that I appreciated that they liked what I was writing but would they please tell me how I could get better? 

And then...I started reading Anna Karenina and my mind just went kaput. How could a human being come up with something so amazing? It was ethereal. I turned my attention to Bernard Shaw and Ernest Hemingway and suddenly I was afraid.

After seeing what these people had done with permutations and combinations of 26 letters I was terrified. A part of me felt and knew that I'd never be as good. I contemplated shutting the blog down and I went through a sort of ostrich with head in the sand business for a while.

Then, a dormant part of me suddenly awoke and said to me one day that I do not have to be as good as Hemingway or Shaw. I have to be as good as me and get better at being me. I recalled this scene from M*A*S*H, where Sherman Potter tells someone who is suicidal that the part of us that wants to hold on is stronger than the part of us that wants to let go.

What I'm getting at is this- there will always be a part of me that will try to discourage me or warn me that I might have bitten off more than I can chew, but there will be a part of me that will whisper or scream at me to just shut up and try.

And I will try. That is all.

The Bilge Master

A House Full of Stories Ep. 22: The Wedding Present by Neil Gaiman

 Welcome back to another episode of A House Full of Stories and this time I have got Neil Gaiman for you, His graphic novel series The Sandman is coming soon and I felt it appropriate to do this story, one of my favorites by Gaiman on the channel in light of this.

Enjoy! 

The Bilge Master

The Vow by I.S. Lahiri: An Upcoming Book

 If you were a nineties kid growing up in India, the one thing you could not have missed was the cricket rivalry between India and Pakistan and in some rare cases Australia and England (for the Ashes). You would have held your breath as, on a CRT television, Shoaib Akhtar (AKA the Rawalpindi Express) bowled to Sachin Tendulkar.

Furthermore, Jeffery Archer and Frederick Forsyth would have definitely been on your shelf or in your local lending library

What if I told you that on June 17^th 2021, a book is coming which will combine the India- Pakistan cricket rivalry and the political intrigue of the above two authors in an explosive package? Allow me to introduce The Vow by I.S. Lahiri. I have been involved with this book’s pre-publication for a long time, first as a beta reader, then as a proofreader of the final manuscript and it is mind boggling!

You can find more information such as quotes and original illustrations on the Instagram and Facebook page. Below is a small video of myself reacting to two chapters of The Vow in real time. I would heartily and without hesitation suggest this book to you if a quick paced, edge of your seat experience is what you’re looking for!

 Instagram: Imagination Empire

Link to video on Facebook

Link to the official Facebook Page for The Vow by I.S. Lahiri

The Bilge Master

"Introduce a Little Anarchy": A Therapy Session to Remember

This lockdown had me a little messed up and losing my mother had me in pieces so I took therapy. It helped to have someone impartial have a few words with me once a week. I'm going to talk about the latest session, which took place on Tuesday.

There I was with a self confident smirk explaining that I don't wanna get married and would rather like to travel the world and my therapist dropped a bomb in the next sentence.

She said, "So you have a plan and should anything happen to de-rail that plan, you're screwed. It will bring disappointment, self doubt and negativity with it and this smile you have on your face will be gone in seconds. A person as creative as you should not at any point have a plan. Let this notion go and you'll live a happy life. So what if you're an engineer, who's now helping a friend with a book? So what if you didn't do English honors? You need to set yourself free of shackles you've built around you and the social structure has made you build."

She elucidated further by saying, "I'm not asking you to not have a dream. You should have multiple dreams. I'm saying you should remove restrictions and live life a day at a time, if needs be an hour at a time."

I started thinking about my friend who used to work in ONGC this morning and how one night he had called me and said "Ashesh, ONGC is not for me. I want to try an MBA." Today, that friend is in ISB doing his MBA. I don't think he has a concrete plan either.

And now I've come to realize that life is more fun without a plan, that a little bit of anarchy is required. After all, nobody is getting out of here alive so the only thing we can do is enjoy the ride.

I shall live my life a day at a time. That way, I truly shall be at peace. I'd advise you to do the same. 

The Bilge Master