Song Interpretation- Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

Loneliness. A phase we all pass through, sometimes multiple times in our lives. I am a lonely guy and when I am most lonely, I turn to music. Songs by Simon and Garfunkel are about loneliness. "I am leaving, I am leaving but the fighter still remains" as the last line of The Boxer goes. Simon and Garfunkel take me back to my schooldays. We had  a lot of fun, learnt some stuff, made friends but at the end of the day that loneliness remained.

This is a post about a song by the band The Goo Goo Dolls. It's called Iris and it's one of their best songs in my humble opinion. It is that humble opinion and insomnia that compels me to write a few lines about this song. It has been playing on loop on my phone for the past two days and I have never grown fed up of it. Why is that? It's because it's a fantastic song.

Let's analyse it.

"And I don't want the world to see me

'coz I don't think they'd understand"

These two lines of the chorus hit you gently, while an acoustic guitar strums in the background. There are many of us who feel we don't fit in, that we are doomed to survive in a world full of fake people. A world where finding something real is like finding oil in your backyard. The next two lines are even more symbolic of this

"When everything's meant to  be broken

I just want you to know who I am"

Here we see loneliness shining through like a beacon. The guy singing the song or rather the guy the song is about is disillusioned. He wants to find someone he can connect with so that he can lay down the burden he has been carrying for so long and just rest with that person at his side. He's an introvert. He cannot make friends easily and maybe at this point in time his friends have let him down. He wants to move on from this state to a happier, more secure one.

This is when the second verse hits you

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive"

Self harm. Our protagonist has had it with this world full of fake people. He has lost hope. He is in a dark place and he doesn't know how to come out or if at all he wants to come out. Perhaps the singer is subtly hinting that he is indulging in self harm-cutting himself so that the pain can take away the numbness in his heart.

The protagonist has found someone who he likes and she likes him too maybe. He wants to tell her his story. At this point in the song we have the chorus repeating thrice. The protagonist seems to be ushering in this person into his life and wants to tell the person the truth. He is fed to the back teeth with lies and false people. He feels he has found someone genuine. Let us now look at the first verse of the song, bearing in mind all that we know now

"And I'd give up forever to touch you

'coz I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later its over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight"

This verse is about the person he has met. He doesn't know the person well enough so he is holding back. At the same time, the person is a genuine soul, someone our protagonist never thought he would meet. When that person is not with him, he misses the person.

And finally the outro

"I just want you to know who I am"

This line sans the chorus repeated thrice. He wants to be accepted for what he is. He doesn't want any secrets to exist between this person and himself. He wants to shout out from the rooftops that his loneliness has finally gone away.

Although the general tone of this song is sad, it ends on a note of hope. It tells all of us lonely people not to give up, but to keep looking. Somewhere out there is someone with whom we can share our true identity. We will not be rejected by that person. That person will accept us, with all our flaws and scars plainly visible.

Iris  is more than an alternative rock song. It's like TS Eliot's poem The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock. The poem has a line in it that goes

"There will be time, there will be time

To prepare a face for the faces that you meet"

These two lines are Iris in a nutshell. The song is summed up very aptly here. Iris is the love song of a lonely man, fed up with lies and fake promises who finds someone who accepts him for what he is. That is all. The song speaks to me on more than one level, because I have been fortunate enough to find real people amongst fake friends.

I would love to hear your interpretation of Iris. Until next time.

The Bilge Master

The Forgotten III

Going to the market is a big affair in our household. We don't dress up for it but we do arrive carrying our shopping bags which will then be filled with vegetables or fish or in some cases meat. Now, like every household, we have some rules when we go to the market.

The first rule of marketing is that we buy from one or maximum two vendors. These two vendors we choose have to meet certain criteria. Their product must be good and fresh and if by any chance we are cheated, we return the product in whatever state it is and permanently boycott said vendor. This has been going on since my grandma's times.

Vendors treat us with respect. At the local market, we buy veggies from two people, onions and potatoes from an old gentleman and fish from a bearded dude whose beard is so long it's as if his beard is growing another beard 9as the joke goes).I have often been asked to sit down and share a cup of tea with our vendors, or if they've done a puja then they make sure to save some prasad for me.

Like any relationship, this one too has been nurtured. When we first started buying we told them of our rule and one fishmonger gave us bad fish. We returned the same to him the next day in a semi cooked condition, stinking to high heaven and have boycotted him since.

In the era of Big Basket and other such online portals, finding a good vendor is a difficult task, because everyone has a smartphone now, but they don't get to experience the pleasure of going to a market, and buying fresh veggies or meats, which we can see in front of us and pick and choose from. Sometimes the vendor tells us he has nothing to offer us and we should try this other one who will not cheat us. In an age where everything is ones and zeroes, a little analog helps

How? It reminds you where your roots are. It reminds you of taking the car down to the market, parking it, getting down with an empty bag to fill and then filling it with stuff from one end of the market to another. Marketing is so much fun. You get to do so much. You meet new people, who then become familiar faces, then almost family.

Back in the era of landline phones and dial up internet, I remember this one time my dad took me with him to the market. It was an amazing experience for me. The vendors all patted my head, blessed me or gave me toffees. Some gave discounts on their product on seeing me. My father was offered tea. There were so many smells. The smell of fish, of blood, of fresh veggies like cabbage. My little eyes, with their plus powered lenses saw so much, a man's beard scared me a little and it was one of the most memorable days of my life, which I can still recall almost twenty years later.

Then I started going to the market on my own. I always got a discount from the vendors we were loyal to. Sometimes I'd chat with them as they weighed my goods. One of the vegetable sellers recently lost his mother. As is the custom in Hindu households, I bought some fruit and sweets and gave it to him with my sincere condolences. There were tears in his eyes and he said to me "God bless you, beta".

You see it's about the people around us whom we don't notice and yet who are very important to our lives. Were it not for a man getting up at 4 AM  and going to get produce, we wouldn't have food in our houses. Think about them a little. Remember, they have families too. Remember they are humans too. Don't just say that you want a kilo of this, pay and walk away. Interact.

There is much to be learnt from these people. Open your mind and let them in.

The Bilge Master

Mind Games

My mind used to be fertile

Bubbling with ideas

Rather like a witch's cauldron

With my pen I would create

Sparks would fly, explosions would occur

And I would give birth to new worlds

Which would be like Paradise

Then one day I picked up my pen

And though the refill had miles of ink in it

And my notebook plenty of pages

No ideas were coming

They were all gone

Faded away into nothingness

As if swept away by a storm

Since that day forth, I cannot write

Ideas commit suicide rather than come into my mind

I do not know why I have been thus silenced

Or why there is a gag around my mind

But I sincerely hope that one day

My mind will become receptive again

And the silence will be broken

The Bilge Master

Longing of the Soul-A Guest Post

This post is written by Snigdha Gautam, a friend of mine from Delhi. She is new to the blog so welcome her with arms wide open people!

The Bilge Master

Don't we all long for something, everyday?

Today for a better tomorrow

Tomorrow for something we lost yesterday.

Longing like a thirst that cannot be quenched

And wants us to keep pushing ,keep living 

Longing for freedom from ourselves to be whoever we want to be 

Longing for an inspiring soul 

Longing for a broken heart

Longing for a soul that understands you

Doesn't fathom you or judge you but accepts you

Despite all your broken pieces

And mends them to a whole again and again

I Want to Be Magic

I want to be magic

And wipe away your tears

With a twirl of my wand

I want to be magic

And make you smile

Every time you are sad

I want to be magic

And build you bookshelves

For the books you haven't read yet

And the ones close to your heart

I want to be the guy

Who kisses you under a lamp post

At midnight

I want to be magic

That gives you hope in the darkest of times

I want to be magic

And make you believe in life again

So that Tinkerbell can be saved

If you clap your hands

I want to be magic

That loves you and keeps you safe

From the wicked world outside

Above all I want to be the magic

That made you fall for me

All those years ago

One more time

The Bilge Master

Allie

He doesn't remember the date she sent him a friend request but he remembers they were talking about notebooks and Coldplay on a thread. He liked the t-shirt she had on in her dp and so he accepted. It was a t-shirt showing a dabbing panda. He found it funny. She was  funny, he now thinks in retrospection.

She told him texts irritated her, but she always replied to his texts. She called him too, now and then. Slowly a friendship developed . But they hadn't met yet. She was in Delhi, he was in Kolkata. She loved Kolkata. She'd heard all the stories about the City of Joy from her grandmother. She pinged him once and told him she would come and it was his responsibility to show her the city and the street food. He readily agreed, and is now waiting for her to come.

She is short and sweet, cute and intelligent, thoughtful and kind. When he feels low, he sends her a text. He always gets a reply. In the day and age of broken marriages, breakups after the third date and other such crap, it's rare to find something concrete and worth holding on to. People are fake. They say something, mean something else and do something else. But not her.

One day, she'll come. Hopefully it's during the Pujas. That way he can show her the city in all its splendour. Maybe he'll give her a hug. He doesn't know.

And so he waits. And while he is waiting he writes about her.

The Bilge Master

Date a Guy Who Reads

Date a guy who reads

For he always carries stories with him

Stories about worlds yet unknown

And those of friendship and love

Date a guy who reads

He will always carry a book with him

And read out to you amidst sips of coffee

At your favorite cafe

Date a guy who reads

For ink runs in his veins

And he knows all the quotes

"That which we call a rose

By any other name

Would smell just as sweet"

He can be funny or serious

But he will always keep you happy

Even after he passes, the books he gave you

Will remain as memories of your time together

And you will fall in love again and again

Date a guy who reads

The Bilge Master