The General Dilemma

Ankur Roshan is back and has written about the career woes he had to face recently, with a cricketing twist. Read on people!

I just encountered the biggest dilemma of my life. What I want to be? What's going to be the source of my livelihood? I don’t want to brag, but I am the skipper of the Cricket Academy of Bihar, so have played a bit of cricket, I opted for PCM in 12th from where most students are expected to join engineering courses. Almost all my friends are either opting for B.Tech or joining their Dad's business. I am an avid cricket fan but never thought of it as a profession. I am good at physics, chemistry and maths too, but I never relished learning these subjects.

One fine day, Dad came to me and asked me what I want to do? I was just jiggling around so my obvious reply was "Engineering dad." Dad was like "Are you sure?" I shrugged. I know it wasn't my cup of tea. Actually tea was also not my cup of tea, I like coffee. Ok, that was a drab PJ. Coming back to the point, the thought sent shivers down my body and for the first time in my life I was actually feeling concerned about my future. I took a shower and said to myself “Troll God”, you just grew up!”  You just grow up to realize, life is not as simple as sly comments and sarcasm. When you grow up you realize that there isn't really any Santa but the monsters are still around. If only they were big and hairy; now they're just dark and amorphous, and they're no longer afraid of the light. Sometimes they're the guy who climbs in the window and takes your television. And sometimes they're the guy who walks out the front door with your heart in his hand and never comes back. And sometimes they're the job or the bank or the wife or the boss or just that sort of dark heavy feeling that sits between your shoulder blades like a backpack. There are always terrible things waiting to grab you by the ankle, to pull you under, to get you with their long horrible arms. And you lie in bed and look at the shadows on the ceiling and feel, under the covers, just for a moment, like you're safe.

I wasn't this philosophical by birth, life made me one. My career.  My life’s goal. Now, random thoughts started to strike me. And then it was like the  two parts of my mind  started quarrelling.  Picture one of those Angel/Devil convos if you will. Part1- Optimist Ankur Colour-white, Part2- Pessimist Ankur Colour- Black. 

The conversation goes as

Optimist Ankur- Be a cricketer. You're the captain of state team. That’s really cool.

Pessimist Ankur- Your state doesn't even have any Ranji team; less scope- terrible life

Optimist Ankur- Be a writer, “Bilge Master” once said, you're good at that

Pessimist Ankur- That’s just your hobby, not passion mate!

Optimist Ankur- Be an engineer, dad, mom, and your teachers- everyone would be happy. Go with the flow!

Pessimist Ankur- you never fell in love with these Science subjects my friend, you  don't want to work 9-6 and comeback home with 25k-pm. do you?

Optimist Ankur- Join your dad's business.

Pessimist Ankur- Construction is not my thing, guvnor

After awhile, I got tired of this stuff and really irritated, so I did what I love most- watch cricket.

India v England. Sehwag on strike.  Gonna be fun! Graeme Swann , coming over the stumps to the right hander. Dropped one on good length not that full, it was a top spinner, angled on the base of off stump, which would go on and hit the top of middle stump. As a cricketer you know when it’s a typical first day test wicket, the best thing to do is, stretch your front  leg, get behind the line of ball and  without dropping your arm block it, with still head.  But Viru  being Viru, left the safety of his crease and bang! The ball sailed over the mid on, he go on to make his 1st century after 2yrs in test cricket! I sat back and said, “Whoa! Champion!”

 The area of the pitch we're supposed to land it on against Sehwag is about two millimeters by two millimeters  A fraction full: expect to be driven for four. A fraction short: expect to be punched off the back foot for four. That's Virender Sehwag for you.

Viru's instinct sweeps him away, and it is what makes him an attacking batsman. At a basic level, he must sense that instinct is swifter and more accurate than thought. Thought gets in the way. When batsmen are playing well, everyone goes by instinct, but Viru had that coupled with intrinsic fearlessness. It doesn't matter what the game situation is, who is bowling, what the wicket is doing. He sees the ball and he hits it - for four if he can .Isn't that, surely, a central component of a "good technique"? Yes, Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar developed more sophisticated techniques that could adapt to difficult pitches. And adaptability, of course, is the ultimate gauge of the ideal all-round technique. But in terms of a technique that makes the best possible contact with a ball flying in a straight line at 85mph, I do not think I've seen a better one than Sehwag's. God-given talent alone - a good eye and fast hands - will not allow you to hit that many balls for four.

The man moved me. It was a big inspiration. I thought about my instinct, my need my passion and what  I need from my life and came up  with a career option, and now I am very determined and sure about what I  want to be- Investment Banker. See you at Wall Street, London in 6 years time. 

And just as I had come to this conclusion, in came Dad. This is what he has to say- “Do you want to go with the flow and be ordinary like everyone else, or do you want to take a chance and be famous?” Guess only time will tell eh?