This article
is going to be the first of its kind that I have written and will probably come
as a bit of a shock to some people. I'm putting up this disclaimer in advance.
Do not read it if you're easily offended.
I came
across this tumblr post that one of my friends shared on Facebook and it was
about the topic of privacy of your children. Some parents apparently check
their child's phone messages in an attempt to get to know them better. They
think they have their child's best interests at heart, but the sad truth is
they don't realize that it's the shortest route to driving a wedge between
themselves and their child permanently.
Let me (at
the risk of repeating myself) state this once again: BEHAVIOR SUCH AS THIS IS
NOT, REPEAT NOT OKAY.
It is
important to respect your child, who is in himself/herself an individual. My
parents, and I am very proudly saying this, are my best friends. I share
everything with them- when I've drank some rum, when I've tried a cigarette,
when I've got a crush on someone- they know everything about me. This did not
happen overnight however. My parents always treated me with respect- they never
checked my phone, they never prodded into affairs which I said I didn't want to
share with them.
And now I am
gonna ask one simple question- why can't all parents be like this?
It isn't
rocket science parents! If you want us to trust you but don't extend the same
hand to us then you're living examples of hypocrisy.
It is very
essential that you understand one simple fact- respect isn't given freely, it's
earned. How to get someone's respect varies from person to person but if you
have the courtesy to respect them first, it becomes easier to gain their
respect and with it their trust.
A
mother-child-father relationship is the very first one your child is taught to
understand. If something goes awry there then the child is like a complex
number, his/her roots are imaginary. This can cause mental problems, trust
issues and has the potential to scar your child for life.
I'll wind up
by saying just this- trust us to trust you. That way, we know we can always
confide in you no matter what the issue is and that in itself gives us
confidence to tackle life head on.
If I ever have
children I would like to be the sort of father whom they can talk to about
stuff. You drank? It's fine. You like this girl/boy? Tell me something about
why you like them. And so on. I hope one day to be lucky enough to be my
child's friend, maybe their best friend
Until then,
here's to the next blogpost
The Bilge Master
Well said, Mitra
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