Tuesday, November 12, 2019

The Comfort of Being Sad

Legendary rock band Nirvana has a lyric which goes "I miss the comfort of being sad". Think about this for a minute. 

Humans love comfort zones and creature comforts a lot. It's because we like them that we don't dare to step out of our designated areas and try something new. On one hand we think our life is going well- well paying job, beautiful wife, two kids etcetera. However is the job really about the money? Is the wife's beauty really all that great? After all, these things are superficial aren't they? 

One of my friends who works in a law firm and shall remain anonymous once told me he was on medication for stress and anxiety directly caused by his work. He earns well. Another friend stayed on in a toxic relationship for a long time, even when it turned abusive. 

Mental illness is also a comfort zone and hence the Nirvana lyrics at the start of the post. We feel secure in our shroud of affliction. This is especially true for depression. Just as I typed depression my keyboard prompted a crying emoji. Yes we want to cry and somehow wrest ourselves out of depression but somehow it smothers us. This is what is so dangerous about mental illnes. Add to that the stigma that society will calmly and calculatingly place on your head if they ever found out you had or have a mental illness. It's like a modern form of leprosy. So people who suffer from it often don't seek help because they feel they're "okay".

Why do you judge your neighbor because he takes Lamortrigine? Why can't you treat it like a normal disease- a stomach upset for example and let things lie? As Bob Dylan sang: "The old road's rapidly aging, please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand." This rings true on so many levels. 

Change is the only constant. John Mayer has written a beautiful song on change called Waiting on the World to Change. He's followed up with another, simply titled Changing in 2017. The lyrics to both these songs are stellar. Give them a listen.

I firmly believe that it's time for people who stigmatize mental illness to grow up. Accept. Don't segregate. We have had enough Apartheid. Be kind. Love. Don't be the reason someone takes their life.

Life is precious. Live and let live and above all else be good human beings. Help out if you know someone with an ailment be it physical or mental. Human beings are capable of so much. Is asking for some compassion too much?

The Bilge Master 


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